video version of the article
It is hardly a secret that The Czech President is on very friendly terms with China, however, some voices have been heard speculating whether this friendship is not a bit too onesided, as no promised economical profit has ever come out of it and all the bootlicking has been in vain. The Chinese have so far not deemed him worthy enough even to send him a damn panda. Now we have finally learnt why the Czech president has so far failed to get his country such an official token of Chinese appreciation. It’s been revealed that it isn’t a case of diplomatic failure on his side but rather a cunning way of showing his displeasure to the city of Prague, which, in his own words, does not deserve a panda. And for once, I am inclined to share his opinion.
Unless we wish to submerge ourselves into the philosophical concept of the ancestral sin, or karma, depending on whether you incline to Buddhism or Catholicism, it can be empirically observed that a lot of people don’t deserve what has happened to them. For instance, I have always done my best to be a good person, I’ve always eaten my vegetables, shared my toys with my sister, and studied hard. I have pretty much always let the elderly take my seat in trams and buses, I have been kind to children, I have never kicked a puppy or said an unkind word to my wife. What the hell have I ever done to deserve such a president? I think it is safe to assume that the world we live in can hardly be described as one based on justice and fairness. All attempts to do so display severe symptoms of logic twisted to – and beyond – the breaking point.
However, in order to console the weeping soles of all of you who have been mean to our Chief Administrator and as a consequence are now deprived of the pleasure of having a cute and cuddly mascot from his second most favourite country, let me present you with some facts. But before I do so, a little disclaimer is in order. The following lines contain information that I have not verified from other sources, basically because I have other things to do. Nevertheless, I cautiously consider this information highly plausible, as I had the misfortune of having to deal with the Chinese in the past and it just strikes me as the kind of thing they would quite happily do.
There is a YouTube channel called The China Uncensored, which, unsurprisingly, contains a bunch of rather unflattering videos regarding China. There is one among them that seems to have a lot to contribute to the Panda debate. Let me give it to you in a nutshell, and then decide for yourselves whether it is really such a tragedy for us not to have been blessed/cursed with a panda, for whatever reason.
- All pandas in the world belong to China, even if they were born elsewhere, and must eventually be returned to China.
- Whenever a pair of pandas is “sent” to another country as a gift and symbol of friendship, the price is 1 000 000 dollars a year.
- If a baby is born to such a pair of pandas outside China, an additional 600 000 dollars is added to the price.
- If a panda dies in the host country’s care, China charges an additional 400 000 dollars.
- All these charges, of course, do not include the cost of care of the animals.
- At last but not least, China sends these animals to other countries as much for propaganda reasons as for financial benefit.
So, the question is, is there really that much to regret that Prague would be punished for its unfriendly attitude towards our Chief Administrator by not being granted the privilege of sponsoring the Chinese communist government?
Comprehension check:
Are the following statements true or false, according to the article? Check here.
- The writer agrees with the Czech president that Prague should not get a panda.
- The writer is of the opinion that good deeds are always rewarded.
- The writer has done his best to verify the information obtained from the “China Uncensored.”
- China claims ownership of an entire animal species.
- China seems to confuse the terms of giving and renting.
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